The flight over to Asia was easier than a connecting flight from LAX to Europe. No Lie. We arrived in Phuket thrilled to be in the heat and humidity. Our bags were some of the first bags to come out the rickety conveyer belt at HKT airport. We strolled through customs and found a sweet man from the Pavilions Phuket resort holding a sign with our names on it. We walked outside and quickly lit a cigarette. The beautiful car pulled up with tinted windows and our bags were quickly packed into the trunk. We entered into the cooled Toyota Camry, which is luxury in Thailand ;), and found a refreshing treat in the center console for us to enjoy. Two cold moist towelettes, chilled pineapple and watermelon chunks, and one of the most delicious fruits I have tasted in a while. I am not yet sure what it was, but I will find out. It seemed like an extra large orange of some sort– simply refreshing. Onwards we went and our driver put on his music “Love is in the Air”– Josh and I looked at each other and giggled. We have arrived in Thailand.
About 20 minutes later, we arrived at the Pavilions Resort. This property was located in a lush residential area where some of Phuket’s best resorts are situated. Trisara and Andara were both down the road. Amanuri was within eye’s view. Those properties sell out a year in advance and easily fetch $2,000 and over per night over holiday season. We opted to spend a smaller fortune at the Pavilions. We rolled up to the check in lodge and a beautiful Thai woman banged on the gong twice, once for me and once for Joshy. The view was stunning– mountains and lush vegetation along with a view of newly built condos. CONDOS?! That was weird moment number one. I did not see any water. We came to Phuket for water. Anyways, back to check in. The GM, who was so kind and sweet welcomed us personally. The property is made up of large villas, mostly 2,000 square feet and up.
Our villa was 2,500 square feet featuring its own private plunge pool. The property was so large that you need to call and ask for a driver and buggy to take you from place to place. We arrived at our villa. Anyone who has traveled with me in the past, knows not to unpack their luggage for at least 15 minutes until I feel the vibe of the hotel room. Haven’t you ever walked into a hotel room or villa and felt a bit strange? Or you simply didn’t like the room even if there wasn’t a reason? A hotel room is an extension of your home, and on vacation it should certainly be an upgrade of everything you like, want and wish for. I was silent. Josh looked at me, I looked at him, and we didn’t smile. We weren’t jumping around, we were more bugged out and depressed. It didn’t matter that we had our own plunge pool and outdoor cabana nor did it matter that we had our own in room spa and steam room. Something was not right. Everything was sleek and black– the shower was glass, two bathrooms, about 3 sinks, a few flat screen tvs and the works. Ok– it was probably just me, I was tired and jet lagged. We decided to jump in the pool, but we forgot our sunscreen and we would instantly burn in this Thai sun. I called the front desk to ask if they had sunscreen in the room anywhere. Nope, They had to send a buggy, pick me up, drive 3 minute to the gift shop, drive back home. In the interim, I called for ice for our cocktails. On my way back to the villa, I noticed the property was not in great shape. the drains on the side of the road were broken in some areas, the buildings needed a paint job and the resort pool had zero vibe. I returned back and there was no ice. Two calls later, the ice came. I said to Josh, we have to get out of here. It wasn’t about the slow service or the anything in particular. It was a combination of everything– it wasn’t for us. We negotiated with the hotel to refund us back 50% of our stay. We wound up in a junior suite at the Amari Hotel at end of Patong Beach, where all of the action is. Great room, ocean views, awesome pool and delicious breakfast– And, there are people here and the vibe is everything you can wish for. Far enough away from the noise, but close enough to walk to it. We unpacked and jumped around!
That evening, we walked to the Patong area and were mesmerized. Patong is filled with little shops selling everything thing from Louin Vuittos to Beats by Dr. Dre headphones to faux Crocs and Hello Kitty paraphernalia. An exchange place at every corner. Usually we go right to the bank to get the best exchange rate, but we needed local currency (Baht) and the banks were closed. We then played the exchange rate game and ran from place to place to get the best rate. They were all quite similar, about 30.54 Baht per dollar. We decided to go to the one with the Lady Boy, (Tranny in layman’s terms) who had striking fake blue eyes.
On our way to dinner, we were offered more massages than you can imagine. Picture walking down Ocean Drive in South Beach and replace the ladies promoting their restaurants, with ladies, or lady boys, offering thai massage. I finally stopped to talk to this one beautiful girl to say hello and to hear her pitch. She was stunning- long brown hair, a robust chest and legs to heaven. She said Sawadikaaaaaa to us. and BAMMMmmm! Her adam’s apple hit me right in the center of my eye. I was taken back, my jaw dropped and i couldn’t speak. Josh cracked up and pulled me away from her/him and on to the restaurant 🙂
After a delicious meal, we went looking for the gay street, called the Paradise complex. We were lost and all of a sudden a gaggle of lady boys started giggling at us and pointed us towards the street, knowing what we were looking for. The Paradise complex is a street featuring bars, saunas, massage parlors, and live “entertainment”. The entertainment was the people. Everyone puts on a show– the lady boys, drag queens, expats, pig ladies, husbands who put their wives to bed sneaking away– and young boys cat walking. It was truly a site. On our jet lagged and wabbly walk home, we got one more laugh where a carnival game was set up: throw a ball at the target, hot the target, and lady gets dumped into water. We loved all Patong has to offer and it truly lives up to Steele Luxury Travel’s slogan: LIVE YOUR INDULGENCE.
